Unrecorded What? Lyrics

"Summer burns" or "Alcoholic Abductees Anonymous"
Boy I gotta pee
no, I'm not an abductee
but if I were to be
I think I'd probably
still have to pee

well, I am one, let me start
and even if I'm Liz Smart
I know I'd have to fart
the only thing to stop me
would be a large butt-dart

Butt-darts are fun to play
but I'd rather drive
my dodge dart today
away off into the sun
burning rubber and my tongue

Summer burns
Summer sun
Gimmee, gimmee, gimmee
every single one.

Summer burns
Summer sun
Gimmee, gimmee, gimmee
up the bung.

the thing is
summer smells like OFF
as mosquitos scoff
and it gets in your nose
and you cough

Yard guard protects you
from the dangers of the mosquitoo
exchange one danger for another
am I my keeper's brother
or just a bug to smother

i think i'm probably
an abductee
who's been bugged too many times
so if you write
a song about me
make the fuck sure it rhymes

now that five has changed to six
i'll have to have a Twix
I can't handle all this buggin'
without the love
a little turtle dove
my shlitz I'll keep chuggin'

Chuggin' in the summer time
Chuggin' and the summer's fine (this is a bridge, followed by a chorus)

Summer burns
Summer sun
Gimmee, gimmee, gimmee
every single one.

Summer burns
Summer sun
Gimmee, gimmee, gimmee
up the bung.

So, with the beers and the abductees
the pest control and the Schiltz for me
the summer goes and the summer comes
bringing on the attacking Huns.

Yeah, bring on the attacking Huns.

Summer Huns
Summer sun
Gimmee, gimmee, gimmee
every single one.

Summer burns
Summer Huns
Gimmee, gimmee, gimmee
up the bung.


"77 Degrees and Snowy"
It's a balmy, snowy night
on the east and west coast
it's hot as a bitch
and it's only getting colder
it's a balmy, snowy night
and I just got older

It's a balmy, snowy day
sittin' in the steamy sun
sippin' a hot cup o' cocoa
chasin' it with a ice cold sodee
It's a balmy, snowy day
got cocoa froth in my goatee

77 and snoweeee
that's the way it has to be
with you way out in Californee
and me way out in N Y C.
Sheventee Sheven and Snowee
is exactly how it be
with me just sittin' here lonely
and you throwin' a kickass big partyeee

Now it's really hard for me
to pack a snowball without snow
...hasn't worked for years.
But with my new invention
I'll enter a new dimension
and pack snowballs with my tears

well the temperature is risin'
and my skin it is freezin'
and i'm thinkin' i better start gettin'
a woman to be pleasin'
but there's no one for me me
when it's 77 and snoweeee

77 and snoweeee
that's the way it has to be
with you way out in N Y C
and me way out in Californee.
Sheventee Sheven and Snowee
is exactly how it be
with you gettin' ready to move
and me now sittin' here lonely.


"Halfway To Georgia On A Full Tank Of Gas"
Makin' my way through a USA Today
on the passenger side of a long, low ride
Our destination is the next gas station
Halfway to Georgia on a full tank of gas

You get mad 'cause I keep readin'
you say it's my duty to keep you awake
I say I have nothing else to say
and you say that I can kiss your big, fat ass

If that's what it'll take to keep you awake
then that's what I'll do, sho nuff just for you.
If I don't have to speak to your fat sleepy beak,
I'll kiss your big fat ass then soak my lips in acid

how much further?
how much longer?
can we change the station
in the station wagon

How much foitha
how much longa
there's the shoulder
please pull over

I gots ta pee, from drinkin' too much sodee
Pull over nigh or I'll pee in your eye
We ain't gonna get there haulin' your big fat ass
We only gonna get there if we get more gas

Pulling into Georgia and my nerves and breaks are shot
driving past Hotlanta and I don't know where to stop
driving on to Florida and running out of room
i'll go Thelma & Louise on you drive us to our doom

Yeah, to our doom.


"Crapload of Funk"
I just checked in to the Sweets Hotel
off route 14 on the highway to hell
my bags were heavy and I couldn't tell
where I was, and what's that smell?
go...
so i locked my door and latched the chain
and the stank was drving me insane
but i emptied my bag, or should i say trunk
and what came out, but a crapload of funk
go...
out in the middle of god knows where
the crapload of funk was giving me a scare
how did it get there, where's it from?
a sign of god's wrath, thy kingdom come?
go...
how did i get here? what's it all about?
what about the hotel? did I even check out?
and what of this crapload? what about the funk?
should I throw it all away? should I be a monk?
go...
Crapload of funk, I got a crapload of funk
It's not what I want, but it's in my trunk
Crapload of funk, I got a crapload of funk
I know what I am, I'm the funky monk
Kickin' it out, keepin' it real
This funky monk is the muthafuckin deal.
go...
the funky monk is I and i'm kickin' the ass
up from Georgia and running out of gas
i swung by the monastary and grabbed some funk
put in the tank which is under the trunk
go...
Now my ride is funkin, jus' like me
gonna go hang out under the ol' oak tree
crank up my funk and let it flow
like the B-Boys kickin' on the radio
go...
now the B-Boys are known for makin' with the freak-freak
and the girls in High School used to call me a geek-geek
but now my bass is boomin' and my mic is amped
gonna pitch a tent of funk and set up camp
go...
At the campload of funk, that's where I'll be
tents pitched with funk by the funky monk, me
it's not a place on the earth, it's a place in the heart,
see campin' right on up in your blocked artery
go...
Crapload of funk, I got a crapload of funk
It's not what I want, but it's in my trunk
Crapload of funk, I got a crapload of funk
I know what I am, I'm the funky monk
Kickin' it out, keepin' it real
This funky monk is the muthafuckin deal.
go...
i'll wind up this tale nice and tidy
i got my funky undies and you know they're tighty-whites
kickin' it old school like my name was Yale
if funky was old bread, my name would be Stale
Word....